How to Build Self-Esteem After a Divorce

By April 15, 2022 No Comments
ana hessbrook

You may lack confidence after your divorce. The future you imagined changes, and you are uncertain about what will happen. The death of your partnership signals not just the loss of your relationship but significant lifestyle changes, too.

You’re no longer part of a couple and must adjust to being single. Family and friends may suggest you go out and enjoy yourself, but having fun’s tough when you’re disheartened and don’t feel like meeting anyone new. If your self-esteem is low, you need to regain confidence. Below are some of our tips on how to build yourself back up following a divorce.

Rediscover your identity as a single person

Straight after your divorce, you might feel lonely, and although it is not easy to think yourself into a happy frame of mind, you can explore the benefits of being single and raise your positivity. Consider what you missed when you were part of a couple.

Single people often cite the freedom to choose what they want as a boon. Explore your likes and dislikes, and your self-esteem will increase as you rediscover who you are and meet your needs.

Spoil yourself

Carry out acts of self-care and send the message you’re valuable to your subconscious. You build self-esteem when you pamper yourself, so take plenty of time to relax and indulge in enjoyable activities.

Focus on happy times

Switch your thoughts to happy times if you are prone to negative self-talk. Remember places and people you love rather than dwell on your divorce. In time, your memories will be less painful. Now, though, they may increase sadness or frustration, and taking a break to consider good times will bring relief.

Set goals

Goal-setting will give you something to look forward to and help you feel upbeat about the future. You might like to embark on self-improvement and learn a new skill or aim to perfect a hobby. Your self-esteem will grow as you see results and note you are effective.

Celebrate your successes

You may think about your part in what went wrong and be self-critical after your divorce. An emphasis on denigration lowers self-esteem, so focus on your achievements. Remember what you’re good at and celebrate.


Exercising can ramp up feel-good hormones and raise self-esteem. Join an aerobics class, take up yoga, or enjoy a daily walk in the countryside. Even following a tai chi YouTube class online can help you feel good about yourself.

Practice the art of self-acceptance

Be kind to yourself. Imagine you are your best friend and adopt positive, encouraging self-talk. Forgive yourself for making mistakes, too. It’s okay to get things wrong. Your mistakes help you learn and improve wisdom, so practice self-acceptance and compassion.

Divorce can be painful and lower your self-esteem, but you can adopt practices that help you. Your confidence will grow if you boost self-care, make positive plans, and give yourself the same considerate advice you would expect from a best friend. Ready to talk to a divorce attorney? Contact us today.